You will find enjoyment wherever you aren’t looking
It’s quite obvious to see that humanity has increased their expectations over the years. In fact, every year there are new items to buy, new trends to succumb to and new technology to twiddle with. It’s evident across the board that we want more of everything.
What you will come to realize is that no matter what you purchase, or how much of anything you have in your possession you’ll always be dissatisfied. Happiness simply does not come in a store.
Aside from wanting more, we also have higher expectations of ourselves. We expect ourselves to live in bigger homes, drive fancy cars, get better promotions, and be better people. This is all inspired by the “All American dream.”
What’s not so evident is that the less we want the more we actually gain. This is true for everything in life.
It’s true, let’s face it, we all want more in life. Everybody wakes up dissatisfied with something in their life. If it isn’t their looks and how overweight they are, they are picking away at their credentials or other means of negative self manipulation. Everyone is unhappy these days. A lot of it has to do with expectation.
As I look at my own life, regardless of how many accomplishments I have under my belt, or how many people I’ve met, or how many cool things I’ve done, or how many children I raise, I still feel inadequate. It doesn’t matter what day I wake up I can always find something that I’m dissatisfied with. For example, on days where I’m happy with my looks, my weight, my kids, my wife, and everything in between, I can still find ways to be unhappy. If I’m not focusing on my physical attributes, I am focusing on the mistakes I’ve made and things I don’t have.
This has decreased over the years, especially by applying simple practices, but, regardless of how many exercises you run in your life, you’re always going to find something to be dissatisfied with.
Getting back to my point; You’ll only find true enjoyment whenever you aren’t actually looking. This applies with everything in life as well.
Whenever you’re trying to find a significant other (wife/girlfriend etc) it’s darn near impossible. Whenever you’re trying to find the ideal opportunity it feels darn near impossible as well. Whenever you’re looking for anything actually it seems to be darn near impossible. It is only when you focus less on what your expectations and just live life, that’s when it all comes into fruition.
This may sound like a stupid concept because it literally contradicts most of what is taught through motivation. Often times, public speakers are trying to push a direct focus on the goal itself and to remain direct focus on it, whereas, in this case, I am pushing you in the exact apposite form. The reason behind this simple.
We don’t get what we want because we overthink it. Think about it; take a the last thing that you truly wanted. It doesn’t matter if it’s a physical thing like a handbag, or an emotional thing like to get married or have kids. Regardless of what you wanted it sent your mind into an overthinking frenzy. You were constantly thinking about it. And, in the realm of it all, your overthinking lead to a dramatic emotional battle inside your mind.
Overthinking leads to a lot of many deficiencies in our minds, but this is an entirely different subject and discussion on its own. What’s important is to understand its role in your life and how detrimental it can be on your psyche.
When we overthink; which we all do, it literally sends your mind into an emotional battle of opinions. First, you were thinking of how much you wanted it. You focused on all the positive aspects of attaining it. And, you couldn’t stop thinking about having it. On the other hand, your mind is battling those opinions based on not having enough money, feeling inadequate, feeling like you don’t deserve it, and the like. These thoughts are both vying for the most attention. This is what sends your mind into an emotional battle.
Only when you eliminate your expectation of yourself and everything else, you’ll find what you were looking for. Happiness does not dwell in a crowded mindset. We all want more of anything and everything, and the more we pursue something the less we actually want it. Often times, when we do receive it, it doesn’t hold the same emotional value to us. That’s why our pursuit to happiness is always an ongoing battle.
When you want less and you focus less on what you want you will achieve more and feel better about yourself.
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