Beauty in Nothing
It’s been said time and time again that life in the moment will bring awareness to the beauty of life itself. But, what does it actually mean?
It wasn’t until recently that I have finally slowed the pace of my mind down enough to actually live in the moment and understand what the above statement meant.
For literally my entire life I was a multi-tasker, an over-thinker. I was constantly overthinking every possible scenario to literally every outcome within every given situation I dealt with. I question myself on so many different occasions trying to find the answer to happiness, trying to find the answer to move on from what was holding me back in life. No matter how much I focused on life in the moment it didn’t happen because I was so engrained in my thoughts.
Recently, I reprogrammed my mind to think less. I needed to do so otherwise I would go nuts. My overthinking was like an addiction. I over thought literally every possible scenario in my life, including the conversations I had with other people. For example, as I spoke to another person, rather than just having a discussion about the topic itself, my mind went into graphic in-depth thoughts about what the observer was thinking about while I spoke; whether they were bored with the conversation, if they were interested in what I was saying, or what the next topic of conversation was going to be. This confused my mind so much that I often forgot when I was saying in the first place.
I was able to finally slow down my mind by implementing a few different self-help practices. This enabled me to relax more and live in the moment more. Whereas, before I was always engrained in knowing what’s next. This enabled me to just be rather than questioning all the time. My mind is forever thankful.
Here’s what I did.
First of all, I readjusted my expectations. Including all activities from the time I awoke till the time I went to sleep at night, I studied my activities and my expectations. From my personal life to business and everything in between. All of the roles I fulfill in life were included. I then readjusted my expectations based on my new set values and beliefs. This allowed me to de-clutter my mind (first step), relieving the urgency for anything in my mind.
Second, I started NOT giving a shit about anything. Yes, my priorities were managed in this same way; I made sure they (my priorities) were looked after, but I didn’t have the same emotional connection to any of them like I used to. I stopped caring about the individual outcome as well because I knew what the outcome would be. How could I not? I had delved into the very same activities over and over again, day after day for decades. My daily activities had all become habitual. In fact, as I started to care less I started to become happier because I wasn’t getting angry anymore (from having to do the activity in the first place).
Although my daily activities are mundane and monotonous most of the time, just like everyone else, I no longer host the same emotional connection towards them. This has brought me a level of comfort that enables me to be confident in my choices that I make within those activities, and I enjoy the individual activities more so this way. Plus, I don’t get let down anymore (no emotional connection). This in itself brought a new level of respect for myself, life itself and my responsibilities.
Lastly, I now accept the outcomes of any of my experiences and I strive for less than perfection.
I used to feel that I needed to be perfect. We all did at one point. Most of us still believe this is true. But, it isn’t. Perfection is a figment of the imagination.
Perfection leads to insanity, confusion and disappointment. It’s labeled in the ads on television and portrayed in the music we listen to. It’s bred into literally every quality in our lives. This makes it more understandable why so many people strive for it. But, in reality, only those who are content with what they already have will achieve any realm of happiness. That’s why I stopped striving for perfection altogether. This enabled me to move on (with everything in my life) much quicker.
Only when I stopped pursuing perfection was I able to stop and smell the roses.
I retired from my initial career as a public (traveling) Speaker last month. It was relieving letting go of it because I was ready for something different. I was ready for different challenges and opportunities. I had strived to be the best – to be perfect in the field for so many years. When I let it go I let go of my expectations as well.
My business was my life for nearly two decades. It was number one in my mind. When I let it go I had nothing to focus my attention on other than the current moments that were passing by. This caused an instant revelation in my life in so many profound ways. It all started when I let my expectations go.l altogether.
Earlier this week, as I stood outside in minus thirty-five degree weather in Saskatoon Canada, I hurried from my car to my Brothers house. We were visiting his family for the Christmas holidays. It was so cold that icicles started to form in my nose as I breathed. All I could think of was how quickly I could get into his house. On the way, as I leapt towards the front door as quickly as I could, I noticed out of the corner of my eye something colourful. For some reason I stopped to take a closer look. It was a blooming flower, a dandelion. As I stopped, I thought to myself, “what is a blooming flower doing in the dead of December?” I pondered for a moment, but really thought nothing of it. I stood there for about thirty more seconds looking at its perfection. I didn’t even notice how cold it was outside anymore. I absorbed the moment and stayed with it until the cold swept my senses. As I took my attention away from the flower and walked inside I noticed that I had actually lived in the moment while focussing on nothing (in temperatures colder than a deep-freezer). It was that easy.
This inspired me to find ways to live in the moment more often.
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