Just Be ..
As I sit here in my household in Calgary I look outside and I see the whirling snow being sent down the streets. It’s literally -40°C outside. It’s 9:54 AM on December 31, 2017. The new year is awaiting us.
I sit in my favorite chair reading an eBook on my computer. It’s called The art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson. Every word within the book seems to register in my mind with ease. For some reason, as I flip page to page, I can relate to literally everything is saying.
After discussing his reasoning behind not giving a fuck, the author elaborates about how the ‘backwards law’ is in effect full force all the time. The backwards law means; for everything you focus on you actually get the opposite. For example, it’s likely that in a group activity, the individual who is least interested in the activity will actually succumb to the achievement. They will do the best. This is because they simply didn’t give a fuck and they had nothing to lose.
Interesting way of looking at things because for the most part in my life, that’s exactly what I’ve gotten – the opposite of what I’ve been looking for. I had always been so frustrated about this because I would always put 100 percent of my effort into everything is set my mind to. Back in the day, my accomplishments meant everything to me. I didn’t have anything else or anyone else to live for. My mind was self centered and focused directly on the initiative itself, all the time. So, absorbing this type of knowledge about not giving a fuck actually contradicts most of what I believed.
As I said there, I read page after page, and literally every paragraph supports valuable claim to the reasoning behind his message – about not giving a fuck about anything in life. Interestingly, the last three years I’ve been a home body, not traveling as much as I used to, and focusing more so on projects that I could accomplish on the computer in my own household. As a matter fact, in the meantime I became quite a recluse, spending most of my time indoors during these years, not going out very often or socializing with many, and I must say, it’s been a relief getting away from all the hustle and bustle of everyday society.
Mark Manson’s message resonates in my mind because I used to care so much about everything. I used to care about my business. Literally every day I had set my mind to accomplish at least something every single day. My family life came second, but, for the most part, I was focused on making my family members smile; telling jokes, doing nice things for them, or just being there for them. I was always an empathetic person and I cared a lot.
Now a days, although I do love my family, my business, and my lifestyle, I don’t REALLY care that much about anything. And, it’s been a relief I must say. I mean, I do care about my children’s well-being. I want them to be happy, healthy and free from all harm. I want the same for myself and my other family members, but I don’t focus on all the possible shortcomings anymore, or the different ways something bad can happen. There’s just no point in stressing myself over the inevitable anymore.
Mark Manson speaks truth in his words. I personally witnessed his accounts. I too have stressed myself in life from caring too much in the past. I remember vividly on multiple accounts when I cared a little too much about the given subject. And, the end result amounted to my dissatisfaction every single time. It left me feeling stressed. Stress is the leading cause and the sole reason behind disease, something I want no part of.
Over the years, I’ve seen my close friends and family members, even people I didn’t know, fall to sickness due to stress. Although it’s never easy pointing a finger at any specific illness of what caused it, it’s safe to say from the vast amount of scientific research on the subject proves that stress is the leading cause behind all sickness, period.
This point makes me reflect more so on my own personal well-being. It reminded me that I too am getting up there in age. Just the other day I retired from my first true career (motivational speaking). I have two growing children at home, and I’m starting to see my parents age quickly too. All of this brings thought to my own mortality. It reminds me that life is important in ways that I don’t even realize at this moment. This then brought my thoughts towards an image of my life at the age of 70.
Foresight brought my thought. As I sat in my rocking chair at 70 years old I pondered my thoughts. I question myself, wondering if I had achieved all that I wanted, and most importantly, I ask led myself; was it all worth it? Then, the image faded.
I sat there in a daze. I packed up laptop and put it in the bag for another day.
The next question that entered my mind was how I could spend the most quality time with my kids at that very moment. I then took the thought and made it a reality.
There’s no accomplishment more important than spending the moment with the one you love.
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